an engineering rush (i)
homework

i hate that divinity master
with his keep still
and his don’t mess about
and his why can’t you behave

if he weren’t so boring
if he made lessons fun
i’d listen

and he keeps on about
his holy prince
who saved the church

that dull prince
who never won a battle
who only ever killed
some pigs

and now i’ve got
this really boring homework
to make a boring change
to boring history

well i’m fed up
and i don’t like him
and i don’t like his holy prince
the perfect boyhood
the perfect engagement
the perfect life

so i’ll make that prince a king
and he has three wives
and he divorces one
and he kills one

no
he’ll have six
and he divorces two
and he kills two
and he dies of syphilis

and the pope still makes him
defender of the faith

run computer run

ooh
the king’s pet greek
died from a flying tortoise
before he wrote
‘the prince’

which is now a nasty work
written by some roman
’cept rome’s not there

hrmph!
that divinity master’s still there
and he’s got fat
and he teaches economics

and he goes on about
some prime minister
a tin lady

boring

Never Bury Poetry published this poem in 2004.